Hey you, Nice Guy.
Stop pretending to be nice. It's not going to get you ahead in life. Neither will being a dick. You have to be real. Generally, people like others who are:
- Truly kind and compassionate for all people (ie not just selectively to attractive people)
- Has an overall positive outlook on life
- Unafraid to be vulnerable about sensitive topics every now and then
- Lives honestly and can communicate their feelings (without harming others)
- Can laugh at themselves and not be so self-hating
- Are happy with themselves
If you, Nice Guy, can learn these six things, you might have a chance at getting the things you think only "dicks" get. Yes, if you learn how to love yourself and you concern yourself with raising others up with you, then you will attract the people you want to attract in both relationships and friendships.
You see, the more you try to justify your failures because you're "too nice", the more you enshrine yourself in victim mentality. "Oh woe is me, the whole world doesn't support me because I'm too nice, guess you got to be a dick to get what you want out of life".
Except it isn't true. It's not because you're too nice. It's because you're too scared to grow. Your failures are because you're trying to be someone you're not. You're trying to be nice to people in order to get something back from them, not because you genuinely and sincerely want to see them succeed or benefit.
I think the greatest thing you can realize is that:
You don't have to change to make people like you.
But you do have to change your mindset.
You have to realize that it's not about "nice vs asshole". It's about real vs fake.
And let's face it: nice guys are fake guys.
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Evan's Goal Update - Day 15/56
- Writing: Writing for the 15th day in a row.
- Fitness: Rest day. (8/32 sessions completed this cycle)
- YouTube: Late on uploading but will finish by EOD!
- Coding: Trying to re-create the Google homepage in HTML and CSS. Not had much time recently... I had an ambitious goal to complete The Odin Project curriculum in 6 months, but I may put it lower on the priority list and make it 1 year.