Your Parents Are Shit-Testing You

 Photo by  Daniel Cheung  on  Unsplash

Here’s the thing with parents: they either love you or they don’t.

And you’ll often think that they don’t growing up.

But you’re probably wrong. Most parents love you, but are unable to show it because of various social factors and fears — they’re afraid of being called bad parents, afraid of your potential failure, afraid of a whole lot of shit essentially.

Now you may call that selfish, but they’re human too.

They’re afraid of things they can’t control, just like you are.

But although your parents don't want to lose control of you, they also want you to be a self-sufficient individual and thrive. So it seems conflicting, because the goals contradict each other: you can’t control a self-sufficient individual.

To handle this, I like to assume that my parents will always love me no matter what I do (barring murder or theft of course).

Now if your parents truly love you, they will challenge you because they still want to hold onto that shred of control they have. But they will still love you regardless when you do choose what you want to do.

I can’t say for sure since I’m not a parent, but I predict that this will be a painful yet very exciting moment in your relationship.

However, if you do your thing, and they truly cut you off, then they never loved you in the first place. If you truly had bad parents, then this should be a net positive result for you, though it does come with some pain. Ultimately, you will have done the right thing by validating your own love for yourself, rather than accepting their fake love.

Remember: more often than not, your parents love you! So go for what you want!