When Avoidance is a Good Thing


A lot of advice for college grads out there is about "finding your passion".

Outside of being completely unhelpful, this advice also evades one very important point: it misses the fact that in order to find what we like doing, we should be actively seeking to close doors in our life. But wait, Evan, what do you mean by closing doors?

I mean trying out everything, and writing out what you like about certain things, and more importantly, what you hate about other things. When you figure out what makes you terribly unhappy, you can avoid these things like the plague. I'm serious. Close the door on the potential of you ever doing that stuff again.

Isn't that missing out on opportunities?

Yes.

But why would you want the opportunity of succeeding in a mediocre life that makes you unhappy? This is a case where avoidance is a good thing. Avoiding what you don't like in this sense is about a very honest case of self-realization.

Close that door and don't freaking look back.

Don't confuse this with closing doors on things that make you anxious. Sometimes things are just scary at first. It's up to you to face your fears and pursue what you want in lieu of the safe option (never trying it at all). Never close doors on things you want to do but are too afraid to do because of the idea of impossibility.

Do close doors on things that you know for certain would make you miserable if you had to do it 8 hours a day.

By doing this, you get one step closer everyday to finding a job that you like.