Failure comes often.
But we are taught that failure is something that is rare and should be avoided. That's why we tend to blow things out of proportion. For example, just because of one bad test or one bad date, you feel like that one event's result is going to affect the rest of your life. So you freak out a little bit.
Maybe you complain to your friends about it. Maybe you eat to forget the pain. Maybe you just avoid it with a steady diet of YouTube and Netflix.
This happens every semester in a perpetuating cycle of worry, anxiety of the future, and the "I could've done better" self-talk that comes after.
But we miss the fact that these "failures" happen all of the time.
And that's perfectly fine.
It's just that, when we focus so much on the negative, we miss out on everything we accomplished that day. That's because no one seems to notice when you do things that are "expected of you" successfully.
People won't give you this praise. They're too busy inside their own heads to care. So instead of wanting to receive praise from other people for doing what's right, give yourself the authority to praise your own efforts.
Celebrate that you had the balls to raise your hand in class. Celebrate that you chose to workout and restrict your diet so that you could work towards a healthier body. Celebrate that you are learning awesome things through books, media, and the strangers you meet everyday.
There's a popular mantra that happiness depends on the status of your health, wealth, and relationships. When you're successful in at least one of these categories, it makes the hardships in another one a lot more manageable.
This distinction has helped me become 100 times more appreciative in life.
When you look at the other aspects in your life, there's always at least one success in there. You have to focus on what you're doing well. Here are 20 questions you can ask yourself to assess your current state, discover what change you want, and keep your goals actionable.
- Am I happy with where I want to be physically?
- Is the food I'm eating affecting me in the way I want it to?
- Does my body look how I want it to look?
- Why do I want to look more muscular, eat more nutritiously, or lift more weight?
- How do I fit a regular workout routine or this new diet into my schedule?
- How can I eliminate the bad habits that hurt my body and health?
- What is the amount of money that I need to make to satisfy the lifestyle I want to live?
- Am I putting in the effort to get a job/internship that I want?
- Can I travel to the places I want to travel to?
- Why do I want to travel, have an enjoyable job, or make more money?
- How can I immerse myself in the things I love to do?
- How can I purposefully avoid the things that I don't like doing?
- Am I connecting with my friends on a deep level?
- Am I meeting the people I want to meet?
- Am I expressing myself freely and without judgment of myself at work, school, and at home?
- Do I want a relationship, short flings, or nothing at all at this moment in time?
- Am I putting myself out there and pursuing romantic interests?
- Why do I want to deepen my friendships, build an entrepreneurial network, or be in a relationship?
- How can I surround myself with people who push me to be the best version of myself?
- How do I meet like-minded people outside of my immediate social circle?